Here they are, my Dodoisms. I hope you like them. But if you don't, please don't complain to my brain. Just blame it on my head instead.

1. Remember that there's a Dodo in every family so if it's not one of them—then it must be you.

2. Making a mess is easy, but making a bigger mess is even easier.

3. Goofball Psychology 101: Don't think that you can be a Dodo by just doing three stupid things a day—you'll have to do a lot better than that.

4. You're a Dodo if you work for birdseed and crackers.

5. I may have nothing, but I'm still willing to share my nothing with everyone.

6. I don't discriminate against any desserts—I'm an equal opportunity glutton.

7. You're a Dodo if you go to work on your day off.

8. Goofball Psychology 101: If you didn't do it yesterday, why should you waste your time and do it today?

9. A Dodo product is one that gives you a 100% guarantee that it's not going to work.

10. Even God makes goof ups—just look at me. I'm one of God's biggest little accidental droppings.

11. You're a Dodo if you think that feeding your merry-go-round horse will make him go faster.

12. You're a Dodo if you keep telling everyone that you're not.

13. Goofball Psychology 101: Craziness is a disease of the mind—so stop using your head and you'll be okay.

14. A Dodo judge always rules in favor of the side that wins.

15. Goofball Psychology 101: If you think that you're Napoleon, Jesus or Freud, don't let anyone talk you out of it. They're probably just jealous

16. My best friend gave me a bar of soap for my birthday but I couldn't use it— the instructions were missing.

17. I took an IQ test and the psychiatrist was shocked and impressed. He said, “I can't believe you got a Perfect Zero.”

18. I have the nicest boss in the world. He always says, “Go home goofball, you've done enough damage for today.”

19. You're a Dodo if you're always late even when you're on time.

20. Kissing a Dodo cures intelligence.

21. People must really love me cuz they always give me a standing ovation whenever I leave the room.

22. I only sing off key when I'm singing.

23. I love my bad habits cuz they took me a lifetime to perfect.

24. Everyone that meets me says that I'm still a virgin cuz my brain has been never used.

25. Don't expect me to be on time cuz I hate surpris­ing people.