Believe it or not, but no school is teaching kids how to read, write, and speak backwards. My invention is the Best Bet No Regret Backwards Alphabet that starts from “Z” and ends with the letter “A.” It even teaches you to make everybody laugh backwards.

It's going to be the “in thing” not just in the backward hillbilly hills, but also in every school in the world. It's hard to imagine that everybody is still doing everything forwards. Isn't that the most old-fashioned teaching philosophy you've ever heard? The time has come to teach our kids to think backwards. Forward thinking, speaking, and writing got the world in the mess that it's in today. Am I thgir (that's right spelled alphabet backwards for you forward thinker blinkers)?

Start practicing your Best Bet No Regret Backwards Alphabet now before you find your mind falling so far backward behind that your IQ drops to even lower than mine. Everyone will agree, that's the scariest thought that could ever be.