I'm totally dumbfounded that a more efficient straw is not on the market yet. But soon, it will be cuz I thought of it. It's for people who are dying of thirst, and sucking through one straw just doesn't satisfy them. It's a Dodo catastrophe. So somebody had to invent something to save those poor thirsty people not getting enough liquid bodily replacement fluids dehydrators. It's like the last straw for the in-laws. That's Dodo nonsense common sense working overtime for you.

Here it is, The Hee Haw Dodo Triple Straw , one straw with three-forked ends attached to it. Put one in your mouth and one in each nostril and let your thirst be quenched. You suck in three times more soda pop, three times faster. What a Dodo of an invention. Why can't humans come up with such genius ideas? Well, the answer is obvious, they're not Dodo enough yet, and it takes a whole lot of Dodo DNA to come up this nincompoopy invention, I'm sure you'll all agree.

I'm attaching an invisible Dodo warning label on each Hee-Haw Dodo Triple Straw product. So please don't forget to wear you invisible reading glasses which, unfortunately for you, I haven't invented yet. Be Dum Dum Dodo patient and just keep sipping and drinking until I do. But please don't blame me if your lungs fill up with too much liquid, or if you drown. After all, it was you, who put the straws up your nostrils and listened to a twinky-twaddled Dodo bird, now was it?