My illegal immigration solution is simple - let everybody in.

Borderless borders is the only cost-effective solution. Let them all come in and America wins. One and a half billion Chinese - let them in. One billion Indians - let them in. One hundred and fifty million Russians - let them in. Let in all the French, Germans, and English (the Mexicans are already here). You get the idea. Make everybody an American citizen. We'll give everyone a shot at the golden American dream. Let's welcome them all to our Charity Ball.

There will be no more boundary disputes and that's the gospel truth. Foreign crises will disappear, cuz everyone will be legally here. And wars will be completely obsolete; won't that be neat. There'll be only one country, and we'll be pledging our allegiance with hearts in hand to the United States of Dodoland. After all, we're not going to declare war on ourselves. We're not that stupid, or are we?