One stupendous evening while watching a young girl playing outside with her baby doll it dawned on me. There's only one solution that will satisfy both sides, and that is … let's ask the baby . What does the baby want to do? America is a democratic country so shouldn't the baby get the deciding vote. THE BABY'S CHOICE AND WE ALL REJOICE. That's right—not the mother's choice, not the father's choice, not the government's choice—but the baby's choice.

If ever I become President, I'll make it the law. The baby can stay in the mother's womb for as long as it wants. We'll keep asking it, “Are you ready come out and face the world? Do you want to stay a little bit longer? Are you eager to say hello to mommy and daddy and meet your cheek-pinching relatives?” If the baby doesn't say a word, it's ignoring us for a very good reason. It means that it wants to stay where it is, where it feels safe and warm. The baby gets free room and board for as long as it wants, so why should it come out? I wouldn't.

It can stay in its mother's womb until its 18 th birthday. After that, we'll try to persuade it to mosey on out. Eighteen is the legal adult age, and we need every vote we can get to make sure if ever I'm elected President I can pass this nonsensical Dodo Law.